Sunday, May 30, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Letter to Raj Thackeray
Mr. Thackeray,
Bah!
Forget it..
Thackeray,
I think you would prefer simple language coz u have always been at the recieving end of every kind of linguistic baton and would not have understood half of what a PROUD UP walahs BIHARIS or even BONGS have hurled at you. Language is something Maharashtrians are terribly weak at (plz, no offence the proud MARATHAS)
I have no qualms against Mumbai or Maharashtrians or any corner of this state. My concern is the fly in the ointment aka 'Raj Thackeray'. I have few questions:
Bah!
Forget it..
Thackeray,
I think you would prefer simple language coz u have always been at the recieving end of every kind of linguistic baton and would not have understood half of what a PROUD UP walahs BIHARIS or even BONGS have hurled at you. Language is something Maharashtrians are terribly weak at (plz, no offence the proud MARATHAS)
I have no qualms against Mumbai or Maharashtrians or any corner of this state. My concern is the fly in the ointment aka 'Raj Thackeray'. I have few questions:
- What are you so proud of? THAT, u r a maharashtrian? an irritating moth like in ur kingsize family, famous for all wrong reasons (read intimidating dominance; dadagiri/bhaigiri)? controversies u've churned? killed innocents? what???
- Why are you a tinker's damn? an ugly sore-like for most of the people? Why do u think yourself to be God's gift to Maharashtrians? when u have given them regionalism, ugly slums, corruption, insecurity and what not.
- Why are you such a pain in everyone's arse? why don't you MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS? why do u have to hurl venom when u speak? why do u have to comment, when you know shit about the system/people/state?
- why are u not in a mental asylum? why do u have to ruin the lives of sane people?
- why do u have to put Insistence on Marathi signboards for Mumbai shops? do u intend to give the idea that maharastrians, just like u, are thankless good for nothing marathi reading illitrates?? what is that fucking accent thackeray? u think it is cool? it sucks n stinks, just like u.
- why on earth the self proclaimed marathi manoos stick to ur neck like an ugly god damned Albatross and give way to MLA attacks, murdes etc?
- why does ur ultra competitive nature gets a jolt whenever u see a much better looking, much more educated+knowledgable+smart+speaks much better english and nice accent UPites, Biharis and etc?
- why the hell do u think Maharashtrians are better than any other state dweller? Is it Marathi (ugly) MTI (which u can never get rid of) or is it ur bigger and better slums? or is it the growing filth n rag at mumbai?
- why do u think learning marathi is a mandate when we non maharastrians come here? do u swear to make navigation in oh! so brutal here?
- why does every sena worker have to subscribe to assholedom?
- why do u have to flaunt ur thoughts which is hollower than the plot of RGV's movie?
- what do u think mumbai is??????? - SANGHAI?? ur ass.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Kites- My understanding
I received a text in the morning, which said I have won a free movie ticket for 'Kites'. For sure, the free tickets sounded like another torture coz it reminded me of the sheer wastage (time money and most precious-'saturday').
My great expectations kissed dirt and my fondness for the Greek God started quivering (like his dance) for a reason. The movie hall was not jampacked (pity me, I got the tickets done well in advance on thursday itself). I mean, for fuck's sake- the movie looked like an awful mexican meal of tacos, burritos, relanos and over fried beans. I would have donned a Parsi joint at colaba over the pseudo mexindian mismatch.
Kites enlightened me:
A tribute to kites (for whatevva reason it is) from my side:
If music be the food of love, play on;
That strain again! it had a dying fall:
O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet sound,
That breathes upon a bank of violets,
Stealing and giving odour! Enough; no more:
'Tis not so sweet now as it was before.
My great expectations kissed dirt and my fondness for the Greek God started quivering (like his dance) for a reason. The movie hall was not jampacked (pity me, I got the tickets done well in advance on thursday itself). I mean, for fuck's sake- the movie looked like an awful mexican meal of tacos, burritos, relanos and over fried beans. I would have donned a Parsi joint at colaba over the pseudo mexindian mismatch.
Kites enlightened me:
- What is there in a name? The movie title would have been better if it was Aqua or Oyesters or Mermaids or the Bellini drunk love.
- Mexico, Las Vegas and et al have been robbed of their police officials, law and order makers and officials have been drummed out of army. It is easy like pie to rob a person..fuhhget it rob a bank. Whoa...true, I cross my heart and I swear I learnt that u can easily rob a bank, vehicle and whoosh; when there is muck there is brass!
- You should never ask, is there any dance number in Hrithik's movie? Man, it is as good as asking, Is the Pope Catholic??
- If your dad is filthy rich, runs a casino, murders people you HAVE TO BE an ugly eyesore, brat, useless and wife/gf beating asshole.
- You can be the 'lead actress' in a Bollywood movie, even if- you look like a middle-aged slight wrinkled mother of two, lacklusture, an ill faced humored banter, not taken as 'Darling buds of May' and can't speak/understand hindi+english. The only condition u gotta meet is look anorexic with a lil tanned skin (fit for two piece bikini)
- Chronological events are not necessary. You can start/end anywhere..u can bullshit anytime and mind you audience will keep their pecker up figuring WTF?
- Your salad days are never gone. Cleopatra was wrong when she said gone are my salad days and etcetra. Even after making n number of hits, you can fool around. It is okay to go nutty, eat shit and bull crap later. We are 'so used to loony tunes'.
- Shadow puppets- still in...trust me.
- Drug mafia in Mexico anyday is more powerful than police.
- Passport (Darn, I didn't know was so easy to make).
- Cars, while being transported from one location to the other on an 18 wheeler come equipped with a full tank of gas. Yeah, and the driver won't even NOTICE you if you sneak in with ur girlfriend and zoom out destroying the other laden cars.
- Efficient filmakers do a carte blanche before filming anything. Beware, read reviews and do not (STRICTLY NOT) go for first impression...even when ur hot favorite is singing for the 1st time.
- Never bet ur arse in ur friend's group and say the brand is big, starcast heavy, the film is gonna rock!
A tribute to kites (for whatevva reason it is) from my side:
If music be the food of love, play on;
Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.That strain again! it had a dying fall:
O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet sound,
That breathes upon a bank of violets,
Stealing and giving odour! Enough; no more:
'Tis not so sweet now as it was before.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
one who tweets....lasts
now this one is not a hangover or insight on fb twitter n et al. this comprises the importance of social networking..lol (trust me, it is helluva important).
do not tell me u r not there on facebook..okay, orkut?? haa twitter eh??? no??????
***************************
you have to improve. period.
after loggin in i saw a few status messages i have liked or others liked or recieved numerous LIKE (thumbs up)...and so, here it is :
Yesterday I was shopping and I bought beautiful leopard print high heels, sun glasses ala Lady GaGa :D , slim jeans, neon shoelace to my converse and sweatshirt ♥ ♥ ♥ love it :)
i liked this..coz it is lovely....isn't it :)
I ♥ Chanel,Fashion,Sunglasses,My Friends,Boys,Sweets,Nirvana,Rupert Grint,My iPod,My Dogs,Bratislava,Partys and of course Shopping :) and much much moreee...and u? :)
Have you got the problem that you always "haven´t got enough clothes", like me?
...so try to take a little inspiration from those who really know how to be sexy :)
now this is a thumbs up status msg...all women liked (no louved) it
With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, Good grief...
courtsey women's day..there were so many nice messages but this won hands down. this is so beautiful , proud to be a woman!
' This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four. ' ~ Only Mark Twain! :) 'Happy April Fools' Day folks, have a good one ;)
i love every status message of crossword. it is so nice and full of wit, wisdom and humor
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
again liked the status msg of a friend. this is good, idyllic moronic way to deal with frustration and agony of job!
There shud be a better way to start the morning, than waking up early morning and coming to the office...
from me!!! friends loved it coz it is so true...every1 and i wished to get up n enjoy the morning....instead we sprint to catch buses/taxis for office. sad, i know.
Anyone has read 'Little bee' by Chris Cleave?? If not grab a copy people...it is awesome...hv loved it.. want to read stones into schools by mortenson but now m too broke to buy 1 :(
from me..when i was broke and i wanted to buy this copy. it was available at cal. have still not read this :( :( sob. there is no copy at all crosswords, pune
Darn the wheel of world..why must it continually turn over?? where is the reverse gear? Yearning for the gud old days wen we cud bunk classes, sit n talk over so many cuppas of coffee; dig at garlic bread n pizza and how often had tired the sun with talking and sent it down the sky...
whoa! me again wrote. blame nostalgia!
Meeting with boss: 'A salmon day' - You spend the entire time swiming upstream only to get screwd in the end
i am no exception, every1 hates (naah, dislikes) their boss.
Expecting your boss to treat you fairly coz u r good is like expecting the bull not to charge you coz u r a vegetarian
boss syndrome hits again.
All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.
i love this. y is there no job that doesn't eat ur head?
IF YOU ARE BRAVE....Copy dis into ur status and see wat people rate u :- 1) Crazy 2) I'd marry you . 3) Talkative . 4) Sarcastic . 5) Loveable . 6) Clubhead . 7) Moody 8) Dumb . 9:)Spoiled . 10) Mouthy . 11) Hot . 12) Funny . 13) Fit . 14) Amazing 15) Handsome. 16) Cute. 17) I Love You ...... SO SHOOT .........
this was neat. i didn't repost it. coz m not insensitive to criticism....eheheheeh
subho nav barso
my bong connection. love n hugs :) :)
:) :) :) :) :)
this was somebody's (don remember) deliriously happy...so i liked it. who doesn't want to c a friend happy.
FLASHBACK: one memory we had together (gimme the first one that pops in ur mind!!)...
didn't repost. i know my friends are synonymns of laziness. so i knew no one will repost. huh.
now u see the magic? u get to know who is happy who is not.. who has just gotten over with something/ from sum1 etc. who is gettin engaged or married or is promoted. who has returned from which trip..what is good, what is not stuff..who is frustrated, happy, remorseful etc. u can know about every1 in so less time.
so rightly said,
one who tweets or facebooks or orkuts
..
..
..
LASTS!!!
It is risqué, exciting and all very media! Well then, without any drumroll with lots of fun.
do not tell me u r not there on facebook..okay, orkut?? haa twitter eh??? no??????
***************************
you have to improve. period.
after loggin in i saw a few status messages i have liked or others liked or recieved numerous LIKE (thumbs up)...and so, here it is :
Yesterday I was shopping and I bought beautiful leopard print high heels, sun glasses ala Lady GaGa :D , slim jeans, neon shoelace to my converse and sweatshirt ♥ ♥ ♥ love it :)
i liked this..coz it is lovely....isn't it :)
I ♥ Chanel,Fashion,Sunglasses,My Friends,Boys,Sweets,Nirvana,Rupert Grint,My iPod,My Dogs,Bratislava,Partys and of course Shopping :) and much much moreee...and u? :)
Have you got the problem that you always "haven´t got enough clothes", like me?
...so try to take a little inspiration from those who really know how to be sexy :)
now this is a thumbs up status msg...all women liked (no louved) it
With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, Good grief...
courtsey women's day..there were so many nice messages but this won hands down. this is so beautiful , proud to be a woman!
' This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four. ' ~ Only Mark Twain! :) 'Happy April Fools' Day folks, have a good one ;)
i love every status message of crossword. it is so nice and full of wit, wisdom and humor
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
again liked the status msg of a friend. this is good, idyllic moronic way to deal with frustration and agony of job!
There shud be a better way to start the morning, than waking up early morning and coming to the office...
from me!!! friends loved it coz it is so true...every1 and i wished to get up n enjoy the morning....instead we sprint to catch buses/taxis for office. sad, i know.
Anyone has read 'Little bee' by Chris Cleave?? If not grab a copy people...it is awesome...hv loved it.. want to read stones into schools by mortenson but now m too broke to buy 1 :(
from me..when i was broke and i wanted to buy this copy. it was available at cal. have still not read this :( :( sob. there is no copy at all crosswords, pune
Darn the wheel of world..why must it continually turn over?? where is the reverse gear? Yearning for the gud old days wen we cud bunk classes, sit n talk over so many cuppas of coffee; dig at garlic bread n pizza and how often had tired the sun with talking and sent it down the sky...
whoa! me again wrote. blame nostalgia!
Meeting with boss: 'A salmon day' - You spend the entire time swiming upstream only to get screwd in the end
i am no exception, every1 hates (naah, dislikes) their boss.
Expecting your boss to treat you fairly coz u r good is like expecting the bull not to charge you coz u r a vegetarian
boss syndrome hits again.
All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.
i love this. y is there no job that doesn't eat ur head?
IF YOU ARE BRAVE....Copy dis into ur status and see wat people rate u :- 1) Crazy 2) I'd marry you . 3) Talkative . 4) Sarcastic . 5) Loveable . 6) Clubhead . 7) Moody 8) Dumb . 9:)Spoiled . 10) Mouthy . 11) Hot . 12) Funny . 13) Fit . 14) Amazing 15) Handsome. 16) Cute. 17) I Love You ...... SO SHOOT .........
this was neat. i didn't repost it. coz m not insensitive to criticism....eheheheeh
subho nav barso
my bong connection. love n hugs :) :)
:) :) :) :) :)
this was somebody's (don remember) deliriously happy...so i liked it. who doesn't want to c a friend happy.
FLASHBACK: one memory we had together (gimme the first one that pops in ur mind!!)...
didn't repost. i know my friends are synonymns of laziness. so i knew no one will repost. huh.
now u see the magic? u get to know who is happy who is not.. who has just gotten over with something/ from sum1 etc. who is gettin engaged or married or is promoted. who has returned from which trip..what is good, what is not stuff..who is frustrated, happy, remorseful etc. u can know about every1 in so less time.
so rightly said,
one who tweets or facebooks or orkuts
..
..
..
LASTS!!!
It is risqué, exciting and all very media! Well then, without any drumroll with lots of fun.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
stupid FAQs, I wish I could evade
There are instances when u just bump into some stupid people, meet overtly caring & protective friends/family, bear crazy people at work....but what do u do when u r asked stupid questions, embarassing or awkward questions. Have I told u lately, I've begun a growing aversion for a few FAQs I would have never wanted to answer...and if I had to answer them, give me the freedom to open my satirical and venom filled mouth.. huh
Q: Why do u write blog?
I answer: Hell! u don't know, I can read and write.
Q: Why don't u post your pictures much? why there is no display pic here?
I answer: I want to deceive you into thinking, I do better than I look.
Q: How old are you?
I answer: Oh! u r late, if u were just planning to adopt me.
Q: Why is ur writing style-satirical?
I answer: u know, it is just like one's sexual orientation.. u don't have any CHOICE.
Q: How much do u earn?
I answer: Aah! i do not take money for social service.
Q: What is that thing (for a fashion accessory) ?
I answer: An encoded message to cover up that hideous 666 birthmark.
Q: Will u always be this nice to me?
I answer: No no..I will go home, make a voodoo doll and torture you.
Q: Easy for u to say, my work is never done. how do u manage?
I answer: y don't u start working early than bull crapping all the time.
Q: Don't u think u are little unpleasant?
I answer: u have earned it from me.
Q: What are u thinking?
I answer: Thoughts.
Q: How r u? (question by some annoying person)
I answer: Terribly good and do not want any dumb witted moron to ruin it.
Q: Like, I care?
I answer: Ofcourse u wouldn't, it requires brain.
Q: Do u talk much?
I answer: Oh! it is like eating peanuts, once i start i do not stop.
Q: How did u sleep last night?
I answer: By closing my eyes and trying to see what happens after that.
Q: Why don't u quit eating such high on carb diet food (chocolates, pastries etc)?
I answer: Same reason, y u don't quit bugging me.
Q: Do u think....??
I answer: Who cares.
Q: Are u leaving?
I answer: No, actually i am arriving backwards.
At a movie hall,
Q: God, what are u doing here?
I answer: u do not know????? i sell tickets for part time option.
Q: See u later!
I answer: Thanks for the warning
Q: What is ur age?
I answer: Disgustingly young, compared to u.
Q: What do u thing of my trendy jacket?
I answer: I know, u took it off a dead clown..haa
Q: Do u feel guilty?
I answer: As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath.
Q: Hey u like my dress?
I answer: Ugly-ass-eyesore-lime-green, yeah I do.
Q: u got lunch today?
I answer: no. Im gonna eat all yours.
Q: You r so nice, y r u not married?
I answer: Because the only people i know, are fools like u.
Q: U r so english, where did u get that accent?
I answer: My good english friend sent it over by Fedex, u like it?
Q: Are u always this nice?
I answer: No it is a special effort on tuesdays and sundays.
Q: Were u sleeping?
I answer: Hell..no...u r so stupid, I was researching on dream interpretation.
Q: Why do u write blog?
I answer: Hell! u don't know, I can read and write.
Q: Why don't u post your pictures much? why there is no display pic here?
I answer: I want to deceive you into thinking, I do better than I look.
Q: How old are you?
I answer: Oh! u r late, if u were just planning to adopt me.
Q: Why is ur writing style-satirical?
I answer: u know, it is just like one's sexual orientation.. u don't have any CHOICE.
Q: How much do u earn?
I answer: Aah! i do not take money for social service.
Q: What is that thing (for a fashion accessory) ?
I answer: An encoded message to cover up that hideous 666 birthmark.
Q: Will u always be this nice to me?
I answer: No no..I will go home, make a voodoo doll and torture you.
Q: Easy for u to say, my work is never done. how do u manage?
I answer: y don't u start working early than bull crapping all the time.
Q: Don't u think u are little unpleasant?
I answer: u have earned it from me.
Q: What are u thinking?
I answer: Thoughts.
Q: How r u? (question by some annoying person)
I answer: Terribly good and do not want any dumb witted moron to ruin it.
Q: Like, I care?
I answer: Ofcourse u wouldn't, it requires brain.
Q: Do u talk much?
I answer: Oh! it is like eating peanuts, once i start i do not stop.
Q: How did u sleep last night?
I answer: By closing my eyes and trying to see what happens after that.
Q: Why don't u quit eating such high on carb diet food (chocolates, pastries etc)?
I answer: Same reason, y u don't quit bugging me.
Q: Do u think....??
I answer: Who cares.
Q: Are u leaving?
I answer: No, actually i am arriving backwards.
At a movie hall,
Q: God, what are u doing here?
I answer: u do not know????? i sell tickets for part time option.
Q: See u later!
I answer: Thanks for the warning
Q: What is ur age?
I answer: Disgustingly young, compared to u.
Q: What do u thing of my trendy jacket?
I answer: I know, u took it off a dead clown..haa
Q: Do u feel guilty?
I answer: As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath.
Q: Hey u like my dress?
I answer: Ugly-ass-eyesore-lime-green, yeah I do.
Q: u got lunch today?
I answer: no. Im gonna eat all yours.
Q: You r so nice, y r u not married?
I answer: Because the only people i know, are fools like u.
Q: U r so english, where did u get that accent?
I answer: My good english friend sent it over by Fedex, u like it?
Q: Are u always this nice?
I answer: No it is a special effort on tuesdays and sundays.
Q: Were u sleeping?
I answer: Hell..no...u r so stupid, I was researching on dream interpretation.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
confessions of a shopaholic
Finally! a shopaholic's confession is gonna be here, in my blog. i've like, waited for ages to get rid of shopping urge (read attacks) but no ...certainly NO I am not going n joining a community and say-'Hey, it is 5 months now and I have not bought ANYTHING'. this would give me a cardiac arrest or maybe I'll be more in shock than despair.
no, everything is not gall and wormwood about shopping ; and everything is not either up and going. I have had my share of fun, regrets, pain, ecstacy and etcetra for my shop till drop AtTiTuDe.
for, i can tell u when i went completely broke (which happens most of time) and then i call myself belligerantly senile, stone sober and what the deuce???
my shopping (killing) spree went on and is going on
no, everything is not gall and wormwood about shopping ; and everything is not either up and going. I have had my share of fun, regrets, pain, ecstacy and etcetra for my shop till drop AtTiTuDe.
for, i can tell u when i went completely broke (which happens most of time) and then i call myself belligerantly senile, stone sober and what the deuce???
my shopping (killing) spree went on and is going on
- i went on buying pirated books from JM road, pune. yes i do that umpteen no of times (partially broke situation) and when hell, i cannot afford crossword, landmark n et al. i was telling u that i went on buying the books, coz i liked them, i wanted them all and crap, i was not even left with handful bucks to take an auto ride back home. book'em Danno.
- there was this deadly 'SALE'. i didn't take much cash with me (thinking & assuming) that will make me buy LESS. but, resistance is sooo futile. i had to borrow to buy that scarf, that stole, those lOUvely shoes and so many other things. the thought pattern was - this is a SALE, goddamnit. if u miss it, u will regret + u won't find the similar stuff + and the KILLER- will u pick,what others will drop??
- read my lips, no new taxes on this. some mAAHvelous stuff at storeone. little expensive but no new taxes i told u. i have ruined a lot of my formals. AND, this is not want....THIS IS NEED. yes, u gotcha! nip the 'no shopping' bud here. this ain't shopping anymore.... gee thanks :) and this is how the cookie crumbles
- good grief. am i not supposed to behave like a LADY?? dyn-O-mite...ehehhehehe
- yabba dabba dooo, u silly moo...can't get enough here and this called for some essential, some needful, some requirements and high on priority buying (do not read shopping)
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