There are instances when u just bump into some stupid people, meet overtly caring & protective friends/family, bear crazy people at work....but what do u do when u r asked stupid questions, embarassing or awkward questions. Have I told u lately, I've begun a growing aversion for a few FAQs I would have never wanted to answer...and if I had to answer them, give me the freedom to open my satirical and venom filled mouth.. huh
Q: Why do u write blog?
I answer: Hell! u don't know, I can read and write.
Q: Why don't u post your pictures much? why there is no display pic here?
I answer: I want to deceive you into thinking, I do better than I look.
Q: How old are you?
I answer: Oh! u r late, if u were just planning to adopt me.
Q: Why is ur writing style-satirical?
I answer: u know, it is just like one's sexual orientation.. u don't have any CHOICE.
Q: How much do u earn?
I answer: Aah! i do not take money for social service.
Q: What is that thing (for a fashion accessory) ?
I answer: An encoded message to cover up that hideous 666 birthmark.
Q: Will u always be this nice to me?
I answer: No no..I will go home, make a voodoo doll and torture you.
Q: Easy for u to say, my work is never done. how do u manage?
I answer: y don't u start working early than bull crapping all the time.
Q: Don't u think u are little unpleasant?
I answer: u have earned it from me.
Q: What are u thinking?
I answer: Thoughts.
Q: How r u? (question by some annoying person)
I answer: Terribly good and do not want any dumb witted moron to ruin it.
Q: Like, I care?
I answer: Ofcourse u wouldn't, it requires brain.
Q: Do u talk much?
I answer: Oh! it is like eating peanuts, once i start i do not stop.
Q: How did u sleep last night?
I answer: By closing my eyes and trying to see what happens after that.
Q: Why don't u quit eating such high on carb diet food (chocolates, pastries etc)?
I answer: Same reason, y u don't quit bugging me.
Q: Do u think....??
I answer: Who cares.
Q: Are u leaving?
I answer: No, actually i am arriving backwards.
At a movie hall,
Q: God, what are u doing here?
I answer: u do not know????? i sell tickets for part time option.
Q: See u later!
I answer: Thanks for the warning
Q: What is ur age?
I answer: Disgustingly young, compared to u.
Q: What do u thing of my trendy jacket?
I answer: I know, u took it off a dead clown..haa
Q: Do u feel guilty?
I answer: As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath.
Q: Hey u like my dress?
I answer: Ugly-ass-eyesore-lime-green, yeah I do.
Q: u got lunch today?
I answer: no. Im gonna eat all yours.
Q: You r so nice, y r u not married?
I answer: Because the only people i know, are fools like u.
Q: U r so english, where did u get that accent?
I answer: My good english friend sent it over by Fedex, u like it?
Q: Are u always this nice?
I answer: No it is a special effort on tuesdays and sundays.
Q: Were u sleeping?
I answer: Hell..no...u r so stupid, I was researching on dream interpretation.
