SILVER SCREAMS!

Movies in this genre has become so popular that they are an integral part of our calendar, the way Chidambaram is to condemnation or Mayawati is to sedition


I grew up with the rein of Subhash Ghai, Santoshi, RGV (he was always there), Yash Chopra, Sippy etc. These names were the powerful umbilical cord, which gave way to Bollywood’s stream. They were known for making power packed movies churning for three or more hours and making money like growing poppy on the Gangetic plain.

I would watch their flicks, fathom for reason, dig logic and satiate myself by calling it a paisa-wasool sans brains. What do they do to make it sell?

Innuendos and dis ingenuity : every time Karan Johar makes a film, he shows his strange obsession for SRK, every RGV movie shows a plot and depicts something else later and ‘stars’ talk about a lot in their pre-release publicity drives that how the movie saw a lot of ad-libbing and creative input from everyone to make it funny.

Ensemble cast crew: Why can’t a KJ movie have less confusing cast and crew? Or why can’t a horror flick by RGV have somebody known? Why can’t Ektaa Kapoor choose some other face than handpick a despairing character from her K-series? I get a heart ache every time I see a Farah Khan’s movie, which appears to be an extension of all the forwarded painful mails, forcing you a rib-tickle or I may say feet-tickle. I do not laugh/smile, period.

Obstructed actors: One of the major selling points of forlorn Indian comedies is that they feature female actors who are rather uninhibited because that is the only way to get attention and maybe land better roles. Think Jiah Khan, Kim Sharma etc. While they might make a rare point or two and prove far-reaching to the recounting of the series of coincidences that account for comedy – they are still largely confined to wearing skimpy clothes, pouting and featuring in a song or two. They try to do a smoking hot Bipasha or Koena or Katrina, but fail miserably. You wonder till end, what the hell were they doing in this movie? Or were they because of mistaken identities, or whatever!

Actor Vs the heroes: I get a cardiac arrest every time Fardeen Khan calls himself an actor. Remote corner of Bengal sees Aparna Sen commiting suicide or Rahul Bose joining a rugby team when they hear Aftab Shivdasani is an ‘Actor’.

Hear all see none

Lost in the woods, are you?
Or, stuck in the cords blue
I am playing the rhythm divine
Shan't play six to nine
Shall hear six pence none the richer
Bob Dylan singing sad number
I will then color the flloyd pink
Play drums and metal in sync
I will savor and spine the queen
Johny with cash will not ruin
Garfunkel will chase real deal
Inxs as Mozart will steal
Guilty I am as I hear Blue
Keating is outta net and will sue
Beatles shall chuck berry
Madonna and Britney shall be merry
Nirvana shall smell teen spirit
Beach boy's vibration is a hit
Charles will sing Gospel
Taylor will swiftly stitch spell
Parks shall link with Crawling
In the end, Doors will sing
Rolling stone gathers no moss
In muddy water or floss
Can I hear all in a dime?
Daft Punk says one more time
Aerosmith will walk this way
Chiffons shine one fine day