Jaded Fuck

Today while my cabbie drove me hovering over potholes, scraping against hordes of vehicles, impassively crossing the traffic signals, breaching every damn traffic law and hurtling towards all those monstrous trucks I realized how it feels when you are having a cardiac arrest.

You gather ‘Numb’ is not just a Pink Floyd number and ‘Jaded Fuck’ is not just a stupid display on 8-Bit video game... Here sometimes the day opens like Venus flytrap... It is intense, roaring, jostling with unnerving energy and pulling everyone inside the macabre truth of life. And some other day it is like a drugged animal, which runs out without its vigor.

Such is life!

PS. I wrote 'Jaded Fuck' because I was watching Dexter (the TV series) the other night and Debra (a charater) in the series says Fuck ten times in two sentences. One of my favorite conversations that Dexter (main protagnist, serial killer) and Debra (Dexter's sister) have is:

Debra: "Fuck!"...

"You will have to fucking kill Hanna.... she fucking fits the code"

Debra breathes heavily and reinstates "She is a fucking monster"

Dexter: "She means no harm and she is innocent"

He gasps at her and tries to conceal his emotions

Debra: "Oh my God, are you fucking her?" Fuck

Dexter: "I can explain"

Debra: "Don't explain, I know what fucking is"

She motions rapidly towards him and hurls a scorning glance

"Why the fuck you like her ?"

" Is it some fucking serial killer shit, binding you two?"

And I was wondering why do you use 'Fuck' so many times.

'Jaded Fuck' duh....

*********

The Zom-Com Flick - BHWTDMGYNBNF

I am quite happy that I went for 'Go Goa Gone'. It is a fresh whacked out fun from the usual run of mills. The bumbling trio of Hardik (Kunal khemu), Luv (Vir Das) & Bunny (do not know his name) goes for a rave party in a remote island in Goa after they are bored and bummed in their life.

The party and over dose of drugs causes all on 'special drugs' to change into man eating walking deads. Though the TV series 'Walking Dead' is an amazing work on zombies and this movie draws no parallel in terms of anything but still it is worth watching.

The three slobs, a damsel in distress, Luna (who invited the newly dumped Luv to the rave party), the Russian Mafia (saif) and his right hand Nikolai hunt, shoot and slash the zombies. They are in desperate need of leaving the island and heading to Goa but are hounded by zombies everywhere.

The escapades are bone-ticking and the dialogues with lot of cuss stirs laughter riot. Saif is pretty good with his dyed hair, stubble and walk with swagger. He looks promising as the Russian don spewing cuss and cracking the audience. Kunal, Vir Das & Bunny are actually perfect-fit for the roles they've played.

I like it for the hilarious plot, zombies and dialogues. Like everybody would agree - It is perfect humor delivered in gory package!

BHWTDMGYNBNF

Thank God for small mercies!

I thought of a lot of things in the morning of which I would have written today. But I realize, I am left with half chewed words now. So I will write something off the track. I am still restless, my mood is still frigging volatile and I still feel emptiness because V is not here, with me.

*******

Every night I check face book thinking how people spend spades of time face-booking. The critic in me finds it to be too dreary. Then succumbing to my impatience with face books’ who-did-what, I recourse myself to reading…

Off late I felt I have not being doing intelligent things. I developed this feeling that doing the normal run of the mill stuff will rob me of my rationality. So to ward off the feelings I picked up reading again. These are my sturdy rungs to intellectual redemption.

I watched Packed to the Rafters and was moved again when Julie has tiff with her father and later tells him how she hates it when things are not good between them. It is nice to see these series have characters that are painted in hue similar to ours. And watching them is like watching one act up in different lights.

*******

Yesterday at work, I wanted to have lemon tea. I was longing for it. Thankfully my floor has a vending machine which has the option of lemon tea. But the moment I pushed the buttons only pale yellow colored water came out. I howled in disappointment and showed the pale yellow water in the cup to the pantry boy. He looked apologetic, checked the machine and showed a sorry face. I went back at my desk cursing Murphy’s Law and Man proposes God disposes absurdity.

Few minutes later the same pantry boy came at my desk and gave me a cup of lemon tea. I looked at him in disbelief.

Me: Ye aap kyu le ke aaye? (Why did you get this for me)

Pantry Boy: Aap dukhi ho gaye the madam, stock se ye flavor mil gaya to le aaya. Ek teaspoon shakkar dala hai isme. (You looked so upset. I could find the flavor in the stock so got it for you. I have added 1 teaspoon sugar to it)

Me (overwhelmed with happiness): Thank you so much :)  (I did not know what to say to this noble soul)

Thank you God for small mercies in life!

Days without you IV

I watched 'Samantha Who’ today and I laughed hard. Bhai doesn’t enjoy watching tv series so after he was through with IPL I watched it while having dinner. It was nice after a tiring day at Borivali. I came across few nasty things in the morning so I got worked up and was in a pretty foul mood. V called from London and he said he could sense that I am pretty upset… didn’t tell him why but I assured him that I am good after speaking with him.

I am not finding the climate bad now; I am just finding the air rueful. It is like, I have a chip on my shoulder. You know how feeling disordered is? It is like every jot in the universe knows that you are blue so it just shows you how much more gloomy it can get.

I have to go to work tomorrow and it will get crazier. I just hope I do not get to interact with those few irritating clowns at work. And I get back home fine.

The moon has a faint glow again and the smoke laden sky looks dark and gloomy. It looks so metaphorical outside. An artist can look at the sullen sky, dip his creative nib in this ether and come up with a stroke of genius. 

Days without you: I

Moments pass, days fade and weeks goes by… before we realize it is another day, new week and fresh month. I have been thinking last month, same time that V would go to London and I have so much to do for his stuff and packing and et al. Today he is miles away and I am here.

After coming back from work I watched my usual:  Dharma & Greg, Packed to the Rafters and watching One Tree Hill now. In between I also chatted with family; while I was standing and looking at little eddies of wind which whirled dust and torn rags. For a change, the climate is better than the super-hot yesterday.

Coming back to the television series, Packed to the Rafters is amazing. I love the characters in it. They act and sound so much like my own people. Today when Julie danced with her dad and accepted that he is going senile, I was chocked with emotions. Seeing the duo in the series opened my flood-gates and I felt relieved after I cried my heart out. There was this noise inside my head since V left. This noise didn’t let me sleep and bristle the hair of my back. But now I feel much better.

I laughed my heart out watching Dharma & Greg and Everybody Loves Raymond. I sometimes wonder, what I would do if I were to live without TV or internet or books. BTW I have started reading another one by Erma Bombeck. She writes funny and I love her writing. It is over the top comedy… She is like Martini, shaken but not stirred.

Yesterday ma-in-law made me chocolate yogurt – a choco-berry actually. It was yum. After lunch I felt nice lapping on my dessert. She also gave me some Swiss chocolates to nibble. I was lovelorn and it was chocolate. Need I say more?

My thoughts are running frenzy and I am writing them as they are playing blizzard in my brain. So I am perceptibly ‘phenomenally distracted’. The moon has a faint unsettled band and there is clumsy noise of the vehicles on street. Today I am tactless as well as evasive… Guess my hobby of dabbling in myself has outgrown me!