The Zom-Com Flick - BHWTDMGYNBNF

I am quite happy that I went for 'Go Goa Gone'. It is a fresh whacked out fun from the usual run of mills. The bumbling trio of Hardik (Kunal khemu), Luv (Vir Das) & Bunny (do not know his name) goes for a rave party in a remote island in Goa after they are bored and bummed in their life.

The party and over dose of drugs causes all on 'special drugs' to change into man eating walking deads. Though the TV series 'Walking Dead' is an amazing work on zombies and this movie draws no parallel in terms of anything but still it is worth watching.

The three slobs, a damsel in distress, Luna (who invited the newly dumped Luv to the rave party), the Russian Mafia (saif) and his right hand Nikolai hunt, shoot and slash the zombies. They are in desperate need of leaving the island and heading to Goa but are hounded by zombies everywhere.

The escapades are bone-ticking and the dialogues with lot of cuss stirs laughter riot. Saif is pretty good with his dyed hair, stubble and walk with swagger. He looks promising as the Russian don spewing cuss and cracking the audience. Kunal, Vir Das & Bunny are actually perfect-fit for the roles they've played.

I like it for the hilarious plot, zombies and dialogues. Like everybody would agree - It is perfect humor delivered in gory package!

BHWTDMGYNBNF

Ek this dayan

There was lot of things i would like to improve in the recent film I watched. For starters, the entire second half. The predictable whodunit part in the part after interval took the plot way below the standards set in the first half of the movie.


Bobo (Emraan) is an accomplished clairvoyant and magician who does amusing tricks and is loved by audience; his live-in girlfriend, Tamara (Huma) and Zubin (his soon to be adoptive child) until he starts hallucinating and commits mistake on stage. This also sees the return of Lisa Dutt (Kalki) who has come back from abroad for Bobo. The mystery in the first half is adrenaline gushing and keeps your eyes peeled. Bobo seeks help from a doc and gets visions of a lady called Diana whom his father dated and married. Apparently it turned out she was the dayan (witch) who was responsible for his sister, Misha’s and Father’s death. She was the reason of all misery that struck his family. He sees in his vision that he nicks a part of her braid to take away her evil power and she gets reduced to ashes and promises that she will come back for him. The doc dismisses Bobo’s visions saying it was his imagination but there was definitely more to it than met the eye.

Second half sees the suspicion Bobo has, the accusations he hurls on Lisa and his relationship with Tamara & Zubin. The plot after this point becomes predictable and I felt like I am watching Rosemary’s baby, little twisted.

I liked the movie because the graphics were nice, the first half was gripping and Konkona scared the hell out of me. There was something eerie about her cryptic walk, her glances and the way she knuckles down on the characters she plays. I was impressed!

The movie also came with an afterthought, that power of woman is so incomprehensible like druid’s dribble. It has been said in mythology, urban legends and folk lore. I can think of a line by Wordsworth,

A dancing shape, an image gay,

To haunt, to startle, and waylay

************

Today while coming by car-pool to work, I overheard someone talking:

X: “How is Ashiqui 2 (a recently released movie)?”

Y: Yea, ok for one time watch

X: Star cast?

Y: Some Kapoor female is the actress and Vidya Balan’s brother-in-law is the actor

X: Oh nice!

The lead actor is Siddartha Roy Kappor’s (UTV) brother. Siddartha is married to Vidya Balan. And the actress is Shakti Kapoor’s daughter.

Tables are turning for Bollywood it seems!

"You need a chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star"

When I entered my hostel of Delhi, I thought I was on a mission to convince the city that I am also a part of them and I am not here as a representative of concentrated decrepitude made up of the decomposing remnants of my state, as they perceived. I used to think that it was impossible to induce the fact to these people that Bihar has relatively more intelligent, intellectually sound and suave people than they could decipher from the simplicity wrapped around us like the flag swathing at India Gate. A rebel is born when people get lost in the cobwebs of dust-shrouded profusion and an inflated sense of self. That rebel tries to pursue an objective, which they think is lame at the beginning, but accept it unswervingly towards the fading miasmas of their prejudice.

I remember the day I saw my hostel room, its stark white walls and miniature size bed and cupboard. The objects in my room looked like tiny moths retiring in the light of a white oil lamp. My attention wedged on something written in the corner of my bedside, “You need a chaos in your soul to give birth to a rising star”. The whole idea of individualism suddenly rose with the new spark and I knew it is time to leave dark abyss of fear and uncertainty.

********

I saw this quote again when I was watching ‘Dirty Pictures’ and felt the same kind of trepidation and aspiration emanating from the character of ‘Silk’. I was impressed with the dialogues, strength of characters and grunts of anguish pervaded precisely.

The movie is about a girl who comes to tinsel town to prove her worth. She is severely hit by poverty and is not convinced by the filmwallahs that she cannot do big in the industry. She performs raunchy numbers, knitting her brow silences the ugly bigots by her witty remarks and becomes a big shot. However, every star that brightens in a transitory manner also fades; she too succumbs to hideous plight of life.  

Her journey started with climbing the ladder of success, she fell prey to lust in disguise of love, tasted failure giant as titanic, felt the fear mounting on the edge, tried to shun criticism to live free of trammels of precision. However, towards the end feared falling in true love and chose a bridal adieu from worldly affairs.

The movie made me fret by the apathy people show, hypocrisy they shed at every point and that ignominy which silk had to bear. She did not deserve so much pain if we consider survival of the fittest. Ah! The indolent serenity of the phony world, everything is so cruel about you.

Do you hear music, Rockstar?

I remember watching RK’s first movie, ‘Saawariya’ and I cannot forget how my head was in clouds for I could not understand what was going on in the movie... I had surely brushed RK off thinking he is another Kapoor offspring in the rising and shall fade unnoticed like many. I was so grossly wrong! With his choice of movies and talent he made my judgement about him melt into effervescent fondness. And my point of view strengthened after I watched Rockstar. The movie has witty and earthy dialogues. It is flawed but fabulous.

I think the movie does not have to offer anything great but music. The soul of the movie is its music and RK’s acting. Movie starts with the striking life in Delhi University and a wannabe rock star, Janardan’s yearning to become Jim Morrison. He enters the campus like a mildly frazzled goldfish and learns that without any big pain in life his dreams of becoming a rock star will be reduced to rubble. Enters Heer Kaur who is hot, most desired and famous for breaking heart; Janardan wishes her to break his heart and instil pain so that he becomes rock star. Instead the plot moves on making them quite close to each other and he even rallies round her wedding. Detailed plot has few flaws and since devil lies in details if you ignore story’s imperfection you will enjoy the rest. RK is so skin-deep into the character that his pain, anguish and agony will pique your interest. His vendetta voice makes him look like an irate bear with a sore head. The way he has strum the chords of guitar in frenzy makes him a wannabe. He metamorphoses into an angry, distressed and disgruntled rock star whose pain inflicts on his guitar chords and music... he becomes Jordan.

Sometimes it is difficult to fathom what have you lost despite seeing the presence of perfection in your life. You try hard to get what you like for the fear of forcefully liking what you get. In turn, a lot of us lose the enchanted melodies of life, we neglect the small things which were the reason of our happiness and we forgo people who made us alive. Rock star is not a movie, it is a timeless journey of a wannabe who gets what he wanted in life but at a cost he wasn’t aware of!

"Pata hai..

Yahaan se bahut door
Ghalat aur sahi ke paar
Ek maidan hai
Main wahaan milunga tujhe"

My digs at Bodyguard

Though the last movie I saw was MBKD, I have nothing to say about it but have tons to talk about Bodyguard. I have read multiple reviews of the movie and had the chance to watch it since my husband works for Reliance Entertainment. (The understated meaning is: I could not have screwed money for this, though I admit I watched Dabang twice!)

Let us first come to the plot of Bodyguard: Honestly the plot has nothing! There is no story or flow. Even if you missed a scene or two from the movie, the movie would appear the same.

I kept on wondering through the movie:

• Why did Salman patronize raj Babbar, was saving him from an accident reason enough?

• Why were the villains hell bent on killing Kareena and not Babbar
• Why all of a sudden the villains came, fought and died (mind you, Salman didn’t even get a scratch)
• Why did Salman vibrate all the time his phone rang?
•  Was only a fight scene enough to woo Kareena?
•  Salman read a thick diary in gross 5 minutes, which his child took (don’t know how many) days to finish and understand (Makes me wonder, Is he the next Rajnikant?)

The movie of course has done remarkably well and it is raining profit for the film, I have no clue why… Enjoy the movie for its stale poor jokes made by Tsunami (soreness of his jokes were proportional to his size), Kareena’s outfits (nice colors and designs) and the confusing story. The shock element of the movie is actually scripted in such a way that it looks like the script writer had to fritter away few pieces of useless writing in the trash so he took the entire excerpt and drafted it in this new script. The movie is only for Salman’s fans who would pour adulations for his good looks, good looks and good looks!

SILVER SCREAMS!

Movies in this genre has become so popular that they are an integral part of our calendar, the way Chidambaram is to condemnation or Mayawati is to sedition


I grew up with the rein of Subhash Ghai, Santoshi, RGV (he was always there), Yash Chopra, Sippy etc. These names were the powerful umbilical cord, which gave way to Bollywood’s stream. They were known for making power packed movies churning for three or more hours and making money like growing poppy on the Gangetic plain.

I would watch their flicks, fathom for reason, dig logic and satiate myself by calling it a paisa-wasool sans brains. What do they do to make it sell?

Innuendos and dis ingenuity : every time Karan Johar makes a film, he shows his strange obsession for SRK, every RGV movie shows a plot and depicts something else later and ‘stars’ talk about a lot in their pre-release publicity drives that how the movie saw a lot of ad-libbing and creative input from everyone to make it funny.

Ensemble cast crew: Why can’t a KJ movie have less confusing cast and crew? Or why can’t a horror flick by RGV have somebody known? Why can’t Ektaa Kapoor choose some other face than handpick a despairing character from her K-series? I get a heart ache every time I see a Farah Khan’s movie, which appears to be an extension of all the forwarded painful mails, forcing you a rib-tickle or I may say feet-tickle. I do not laugh/smile, period.

Obstructed actors: One of the major selling points of forlorn Indian comedies is that they feature female actors who are rather uninhibited because that is the only way to get attention and maybe land better roles. Think Jiah Khan, Kim Sharma etc. While they might make a rare point or two and prove far-reaching to the recounting of the series of coincidences that account for comedy – they are still largely confined to wearing skimpy clothes, pouting and featuring in a song or two. They try to do a smoking hot Bipasha or Koena or Katrina, but fail miserably. You wonder till end, what the hell were they doing in this movie? Or were they because of mistaken identities, or whatever!

Actor Vs the heroes: I get a cardiac arrest every time Fardeen Khan calls himself an actor. Remote corner of Bengal sees Aparna Sen commiting suicide or Rahul Bose joining a rugby team when they hear Aftab Shivdasani is an ‘Actor’.

Kites- My understanding

I received a text in the morning, which said I have won a free movie ticket for 'Kites'. For sure, the free tickets sounded like another torture coz it reminded me of the sheer wastage (time money and most precious-'saturday').

My great expectations kissed dirt and my fondness for the Greek God started quivering (like his dance) for a reason. The movie hall was not jampacked (pity me, I got the tickets done well in advance on thursday itself). I mean, for fuck's sake- the movie looked like an awful mexican meal of tacos, burritos, relanos and over fried beans. I would have donned a Parsi joint at colaba over the pseudo mexindian mismatch.

Kites enlightened me:

1. What is there in a name? The movie title would have been better if it was Aqua or Oyesters or Mermaids or the Bellini drunk love.
2. Mexico, Las Vegas and et al have been robbed of their police officials, law and order makers and officials have been drummed out of army. It is easy like pie to rob a person..fuhhget it rob a bank. Whoa...true, I cross my heart and I swear I learnt that u can easily rob a bank, vehicle and whoosh; when there is muck there is brass!
3. You should never ask, is there any dance number in Hrithik's movie? Man, it is as good as asking, Is the Pope Catholic??
4. If your dad is filthy rich, runs a casino, murders people you HAVE TO BE an ugly eyesore, brat, useless and wife/gf beating asshole.
5. You can be the 'lead actress' in a Bollywood movie, even if- you look like a middle-aged slight wrinkled mother of two, lacklusture, an ill faced humored banter, not taken as 'Darling buds of May' and can't speak/understand hindi+english.  The only condition u gotta meet is look anorexic with a lil tanned skin (fit for two piece bikini)
6. Chronological events are not necessary. You can start/end anywhere..u can bullshit anytime and mind you audience will keep their pecker up figuring WTF?
7. Your salad days are never gone. Cleopatra was wrong when she said gone are my salad days and etcetra. Even after making n number of hits, you can fool around. It is okay to go nutty, eat shit and bull crap later. We are 'so used to loony tunes'.
8. Shadow puppets- still in...trust me.
9. Drug mafia in Mexico anyday is more powerful than police.
10. Passport (Darn, I didn't know was so easy to make).
11. Cars, while being transported from one location to the other on an 18 wheeler come equipped with a full tank of gas. Yeah, and the driver won't even NOTICE you if you sneak in with ur girlfriend and zoom out destroying the other laden cars.
12. Efficient filmakers do a carte blanche before filming anything. Beware, read reviews and do not (STRICTLY NOT) go for first impression...even when ur hot favorite is singing for the 1st time.
13. Never bet ur arse in ur friend's group and say the brand is big, starcast heavy, the film is gonna rock!

A tribute to kites (for whatevva reason it is) from my side:

If music be the food of love, play on;

 Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,

The appetite may sicken, and so die.
That strain again! it had a dying fall:
O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet sound,
That breathes upon a bank of violets,
Stealing and giving odour! Enough; no more:
'Tis not so sweet now as it was before.